Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
