Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
