FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
