i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
