i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
