She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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