she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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