don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
