I didn't shave. On purpose
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
