You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
