Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
