I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
