Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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