i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
