I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
