matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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