I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
