It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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