omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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