Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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