This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
