you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
