the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
