You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
