Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
