my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
