all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
