cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize