chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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