cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
