haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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