maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
