You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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