I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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