She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
