just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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