I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want nice things and good sex
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
