At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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