babies were throwing up all over the place
I look better un-naked...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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