You just made me feel so damn special
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
