Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
