At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
