Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
