i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
