cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
