don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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