I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
