what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
