She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
