Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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