history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
