Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
