screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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