Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
