First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
