i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
